PART 3: Revision Analysis (10 points) When you submit the final draft of this project, please also submit a 1-2-page Revision Analysis in which you synthesize the feedback you received from the instructor, peers, writing fellow, ASU writing center and dis
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PART 3: Revision Analysis (10 points) When you submit the final draft of this project, please also submit a 1-2-page Revision Analysis in which you synthesize the feedback you received from the instructor, peers, writing fellow, ASU writing center and discuss how you applied it in your final draft and why you made the revisions you did." I added my instructor's feedback. Thank you! This topic does not work for the assignment for a number of reasons. For one, it is too broad, and for another, it is a problem/solution based topic, not a cause/effect one. It does not focus on a local community, and it does not take an original position, rather it reports data from sources without providing any original position on the topic. In this class, you are using rhetoric to argue a specific causal relationship to a highly targeted local audience. Since you didn't define those elements of your project at an earlier stage now, you're still not focused enough. It's important to understand that you are writing an ORIGINAL argument supported by some sources. You are not writing a report on outside sources, repeating their conclusions. You are also not writing an analysis of an outside case study. More than two-thirds of this paper should be your original position. With that in mind, showing that alcohol abuse causes chronic pancreatitis is not an original claim, nor is it something most people would disagree with. However, with more research and a more targeted audience, you might find a less obvious causal relationship. Let's say that you discover that the incidence of pancreatic cancer among teenagers is highest among a certain demographic. You could target that demographic and show how a specific form of alcohol abuse (maybe binge drinking?) impacts that community adversely. Combined with your research, you'll want to bring yourself a bit into the paper. Why are you something of an authority on this topic? Why should they listen to you? If you are a total outsider on the matter, pick a topic on which you are an authority."
