Sentence Styles and Structures for
Clarity and Emphasis II
I. Parallelism
Observe how
we readers can readily anticipate what should go in the blanks below.
1.
He fled across the room,
through the door, ____________, and across the busy avenue, causing drivers to
brake and honk, and pedestrians to _______ and ________.
2.
When I eat well, when I play
well, and _____________, my life seems balanced.
3.
To obey all rules, to
suppress any exuberance, ____________, these are not the things that make us
wise.
The ease
with which we can fill in the blanks tell us something important about writing
for a reader. The reader recognizes
patterns and is pleased to see them fulfilled.
One important pattern is the parallel structure. Notice how parallelism achieves clarity
through pattern fulfillment, and as well, is often a means of economizing
too.
Fix the fuzzy parallelism:
At our club meeting, we identified problems with
finding new members, publicizing our activities, and maintenance issues on the
website.
The legal team tried to design clear laws that had precision and also which were equitable.
The coach told the players they should get lots of
sleep, overeating is bad, and be warmed up before playing.
A.
Parallelisms that use repetition
(Diagram adapted
from Harris, Rhetorical Devices for
Contemporary Writers)
Anaphora X-- X-- X-- repeated word(s) begin each sentence
element
Epistrophe --X --X --X repeated word ends each sentence
element
Anadoplosis --X X-- repeated word ends one then begins next elemt
Epanalepsis X--X repeated word begins one
then ends next elemt
Anaphora: “Slowly and grimly they advanced, not knowing
what lay ahead, not knowing what they would find at the top of the hill,
not knowing they were so near to the outpost.”
Epistrophe: “These cars are taking market share because their
engineering is superior, the quality of their materials is superior,
and the workmanship of their assembly is superior.”
Anadiplosis: “Before investing in an opportunity that seems
too good to be true, you should stop to think. Think about the likelihood of losing
all your money.”
Epanalepsis: “The theory sounds all wrong, but if the
machine works, one cannot worry about theory.”
Identify
which is which below:
-Broken
pottery lay everywhere, the kiln and turning wheel also broken.
-Her lithe
form moved, over the water, into the water, under the water.
-One can
actively choose which products, which stores, which companies.
And fill in the blanks
here:
-He sprinted through
the room, and through its far door, and through that room, and _______ all the
acrid smoke, to find Butters the Kitty waiting patiently.
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